February 2012
61 posts
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #111*
This is the official “I have nothing worth writing about” vanity card. It will run whenever I have nothing worth writing about. Don’t be surprised to see it quite a bit. From now on, when our schedule requires me to deliver a new card and I’m empty, I’ll simply say, “Run one-eleven.” A check of the one hundred and ten...
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So many books, so little time
A Lesson Before Dying, Ernest J. Gaines
I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
The Namesake, Jhumpa Lahiri
How To Be A Lady, Candace Simpson-Giles
Just a few that have been on my list for months now and I’ve still not finished my Ken Follett.
I miss the days I used to consume them
Sleepless in Seattle
My personal circle of hell
“In the wee small hours of the morning While the whole wide world is fast asleep You lie awake and think about the boy And never ever think of counting sheep.
When your lonely heart has learned it’s lesson, you’d be his if only he would call. In the wee small hours of the morning, That’s the time you miss him most of all.”
House is empty… Head is...
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To be perfectly honest
This week has be mad. Some bits I loved. Some bits I hated.
But I can’t do anything about any of it anymore.
And I feel like I could keep talking to someone about it for hours.
But I have to deal with it and get over it. For good.
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“You should put little ropes where you don’t want people to make themselves...”
– Quote from my dream last night. I should write them all down somewhere
My mother’s reaction to things is sometimes quite amusing.
On a different subject I don’t want to get out of bed.
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Went to my first surprise party last night
and it was for me :D
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #265
“Your light was on.”
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #263
ME: I believe that watching tonight’s show might constitute a spiritual experience. YOU: That’s a pretty bold statement. How do you figure? ME: Glad you asked. Since the concept of past and future is entirely man-made (ask any other living creature about past and future and all you’ll get is a dumb, non-comprehending stare), then it follows that if...
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #260
FASHION TRENDS
Dead is the new unambiguous. Bipolar is the new undecided. Heavily armed is the new born again. Bald is the new head… and the new crotch. Hairy is the new face. Sheepishly admitting to having an STD is the new flirting. Purell is the new face of fear. Finding the time that’s right for you is the new impotence. The smiley-face emoticon is...
Especially myself…
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #258
CARL THE ROOSTER
The day Carl was made henhouse rooster had to be the proudest day of his life. Oh, how he strutted and preened outside the little hut where all the chickens lived. From the corner of his eye he could see them nervously peeking out to see the new cock of the walk. You could hardly blame him for smiling so smugly. He knew that from that moment on, if...
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Clearly going to have a breakdown at the airport
Because I’m leaving
Because my luggage is over weight and I’m going to have to fight with the check in person
:( Teleportation would be really handy right now.
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Tearful evening with the cousin (Or at least Cari because Colin won’t show it being male and all)
Don Perignon and Caviar was lovely though. I’ll find a picture they took of me somewhere.
Strange that I’m going to be on a plane tomorrow…
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #252
The following is an excerpt from my keynote speech at the 2009 SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY WRITERS OF AMERICA NEBULA AWARDS. When I was 12 years old, my teenage sister had a boyfriend whom my parents lovingly named “Cross-Eyed Larry.” In my official capacity as the “obnoxious little brother,” I took it upon myself to annoy and harass poor...
Please wait an hour before asking any more...
Tumblr needs some kind of chat thing… Damn you!
The awkward moment when I’m balling my eyes out on a space bag.
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #250
For months I’ve woken up to a mysterious, intermittent banging sound coming from somewhere in my home. I can’t tell you how many mornings I groggily walked around in my pajamas searching for its cause. Frustrated by my inability to locate the source of the banging, I falsely accused my ancient refrigerator and began seeking a replacement. But then I...
It would be better for everyone if I never went...
I wouldn’t have to pack.
My cousins wouldn’t have to take me to Orlando airport.
My mam wouldn’t have to drive down to London to pick me up.
I wouldn’t have to face any of it.
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #249
More and more, it seems like people are yelling at me. This is especially noticeable on local and cable news, TV and radio ads, morning, afternoon and late night talk shows, religious channels, entertainment tabloid shows, and, NPR aside, radio. It’s almost as if all the news anchors, reporters, product pitchmen, talk show hosts, politicians, sportscasters,...
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Getting my hair cut today. First time in over a year. Before and after pictures to come
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #248
I believe that Newton’s first law of motion is the reason we will emerge from our current economic woes. That law states that an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. How does that relate to the financial #$%*storm we’re...
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Have to organize my own Welcome Home party.
Don’t think it will be a success.
Alcohol...
Haven’t had it in a while, feeling good about getting really drunk back in England and forgetting where I am. Feeling good right now with a few in me. But can’t shake the feeling something’s missing… might be a problem. hmmmmmm
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #247
The quantum physics joke Penny tells the guys in tonight’s episode was told to us by Nobel award-winning physicist, Dr. George Smoot. Penny tells it in about twenty seconds. Dr. Smoot’s version probably took about three minutes, although it felt a lot longer. No one had the heart to tell him to get to the punch line, proving my hypothesis that in...
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My cousins.
I’m staying with them right now in Sarasota, Fl and I don’t want to leave. Not just because I don’t want to go back to the motherland but because they are amazing!
Colin is actually my Mam’s cousin (so my 1st cousin) and Cari is his wife. Cari is American and Colin got his American citizenship last year. They have no children but 3 cats.
They are ridiculously kind to me....
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #245
More of “Not Funny Then”
I decide getting on staff at Roseanne would be a great opportunity for me, even though every writer who had ever worked on the show had been fired. Four weeks into the job I deliver my first script and I’m almost fired.
Not funny then, funny now.
I create Grace Under Fire, realize what I’m in for and try to quit...
Did I say packing was going to be easy?
hahahahahahaha…hahahaha…ha…ha…h…oh god
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #229
NOVEMBER 16, 2008
As I sit by my window and watch the leaves on the trees turn from green to brown, and from brown to fire, I can’t help but reflect on the two seasons of Southern California. Inferno and flood. Soon the stinging smoke, raging wildfires and inevitable pyromaniacs will give way to months and months of biblical rain. And with that rain will come...